Seashore Hall

"Josh", I heard, as I passed through the walkway between Van Allen and majestic Seashore Hall, a place I know for hosting the art school offices and the location of many psych experiments I have subjected myself to over the years. Garrett called me over and tipped me to this old bathroom on the fourth floor, seemingly the only survivor of renovations over the years. This style of urinal offers little privacy, this is true, but the shape seems more sanitary. Less splash, less chance of missing. I'm almost compelled to sit down and go like a lady. It is as if a urinal and a toilet mated, and their love child awaits, ready to relieve me of a great burden. The rest of the bathroom was unremarkable, but I feel my life is enriched knowing this comforting friend waits for me, high up on a tower, above Iowa City, watching us all. 

El Bandito's

How do you say harrowing en español? Well, whatever it is, that is how I would describe this bathroom. I was told I would have to go through the construction, the desecrated corpse of Paul Revere, to find the bathroom, but when I stuck my head through the door to make my way, I saw no obvious path to the bathroom. I peeked around with a paranoid eye when a man who looked very close to what I would imagine a bandito to look like peered around the corner, saying nothing, and offering nothing but a suspicious eye. He disappeared as quickly as he arrived, and I investigated the hallway he had seemingly manifested. I walked slowly, for what felt like miles, wondering how many twists and turns it would take to find the men's room. The jewel at the end of the journey was this. Filthy, frightening, yet functional, the bathroom offered a work sink and a sink for washing hands, I presume. Buckets of "cleaning" supplies. I was almost too afraid to even use the room once I had found it. It was certainly an adventure, but not the good kind. It was more the 1/5 kind. 

Pagliai's Pizza

Pagliai's is less than a block from my house, and I always feel quite comfortable going there. So comfortable, in fact, that I left my iPhone at home to charge while I went to dinner there Sunday night. It was not long after I had arrived, however, that I realized I had to use the bathroom and that I had never used the bathroom there before, so a picture would be required. Without my camera, I had no way to make the image! Or so I thought, as my girlfriend offered me a scrap of paper on which to draw this image. I walked through the dim and comforting back part of the place, into the hallway with the restrooms, and into a spacious, clean, and pleasant men's room. This bathroom is a lot like I wish my bathroom at home was. Relaxed lighting, roomy yet cozy, this was the sort of place I could see myself spending a lot of time in. Just like Pagliai's. 5/5

Donnelly's

This toilet is askew. It cheats out a bit. Does that say something
about the bar? Is that my place to decide? I really just review the
bathroom. The experience, was quite average. Eveything was normal,
except for this toilet. The toilet was a bit crooked. 3/5

Which Wich

This is, if you can believe it, a women's bathroom. Can you tell? I
can't, not really. Stainless steel is stainless steel. They lost the
key to men's room, but it makes me question why they even have two
bathrooms in the first place. I don't get it. Anyways, this was a
fairly nice bathroom, perhaps even above average, and the look on my
girlfriend's face as she saw me coming out of the ladies room was
great, so this would have to rate as a 4/5 experience.

Walmart Supercenter

Can one smooth move raise an average bathroom to an excellent
bathroom? Whoever left the vase of live flowers on the sink for me
must have thought so. I appreciate, I do. It's a nice gesture. Without
the flowers, this would be an obvious 3/5. With the flowers, I'm just
not sure. I'm not sure about anything anymore. These flowers confused
me. Classy, but frightening, Walmart. I give you a 3/5 still, but I
will definitely look at you differently in the future.

Hamburg Inn No. 2

Watch your head! Go downstairs. Come on down, it's safe. Just watch
your head, ok? Low ceilings, the bathroom is right through there.
Feels really private down here though, right? Really away from
everything. Like you can do anything down here. Just be careful, low
clearence on this 3/5.

Oasis Falafel

I've been in many small bathrooms before, but this bathroom was so
small that I had to leave to actually take this picture. My experience
was a good one, but mostly because I was laughing at how comically
small this bathroom was. I've been in porta-johns that are roomy
compared to this. Everything else was perfectly average. If there were
such a thing as a small 3, I would rate it that. Miniturized 3/5.