Jimmy John's (South Gilbert)

I have spent the last week or so trying to figure out what bathroom
this is. I finally remembered, but should the score suffer due to the
seeming unremarkable nature of this easily forgottn bathroom? I feel
like I've written on this topic before, I can't remember.

3/5

Cheba Hut

Cheba Hut is a counter-culture themed sandwich shop. By that, I mean,
weed. For a place that is supposed to cater to people who are looking
for a sandwich to fill the void in their stoned stomach, a trip to the
bathroom seems buzzkillingly complicated.
Finding the bathroom was not overly complicated, but finding my way back almost set my sober mind into a pot-induced state of paranoia. More signage is probably required, or the kind employees of Cheba Hut might start finding the remains of rastas littering the long hallway one must complete, like a maze, to make room for more of the Kool-Aid from the delicious looking fountain.

3/5

Olive Garden

If there is one thing that can really make me feel at home in a public restroom, it's pictures from the old country. By old country, of course, I'm referring to aisle E7 of the nearest Target Superstore.
Vistas of the beloved peninsula with the sounds of Dean Martin and a man coughing up the phleghm of a thousand smoke-filled nights spent in a plaza drinking wine and harrassing the local women assured me that I was receiving an authentic Italian experience, even in the bathroom.
The sink had the high level of quality and care that I have come to expect from a casual dining restaurant, with more bells and whistles than one would see in a rustic village home. Still, it is true that when you pee here, you pee with family.

3/5

Main Library 2nd Floor North

You are a secret bathroom, this is for sure. I've seen others go in, but you are not well known. More interesting is the room next door to you. The one with the signs that say "attention, we can hear you next door". We can hear everything you are saying next door. If you think you are speaking in private, you are not. If you think you are a secret bathroom, perhaps you are. I still prefer the 5th floor.

3/5

North Hall

The Janitor is IN, but I'm on break and I gotta go. The floor is wet,
I hope not from something gross and awful. This a bathroom, and
even the best case scenario is a little disgusting, but I have shoes on
and I gotta go. I sneak past him, which is easier due to recently
weight loss and I feel bad about interrupting his work, but I gotta
go. The door on the stall doesn't close and he's listening, but I
gotta go. I feel like I can't take a picture, I would wait for him to
leave, but break is almost over. I gotta go.

3/5

Waterfront Hyvee

Waterfront Hyvee, you've been going through so many changes lately.
You've been growing. Developing a greater appreciation for wine and
spirits. Sure, you're not looking your best right now. You look and
probably feel a little bit awkward. But this is something we all go
through. We all understand. It's sometimes hard to go through
something like this, because you don't know some things and people
might not know how to tell you. I just wanna come out and say it. You
have a bathroom problem. I mean, it's fine, nothing too bad, but at
your age, hygiene can become more of an issue, and I'm not trying to
embarass you, but I just want you to be the best you can be, as you go
through this time in your life, with growing pains, blossoming like a
flower to be fertilized. 2/5, but I know you will work on it. I'm
here if you ever want to talk. About anything.

TCB

I remembered this place so differently, so wrongly. I had held up this
bathroom as a bastion of public space, one of the nicest, cleanest
bathrooms in Iowa City. I remembered warmth and comfort. I remembered
wood. Stained, dark wood grains, perhaps oak. I remembered it so
fondly, but with years between visits, it is either my recall or the
bathroom itself that has faded. Once my favorite bathroom, my
inspiration for much of this writing, my heart breaks over what I
found here. How could I have distorted this in my mind so horribly?
Does the bathroom I pine for exist anywhere now, or had it always been
a hallucination, the result of a drunken trip in a bar I did not
frequent? Now it is nothing but barely adequate and instantly
forgettable to most. As for myself, this 3/5 bathroom will always be
one of the great tradgedies of my life.

Sycamore Marcus Theater

I just wanted to let you know I'm getting better. Kind of. I have a
compulsion, you see, or perhaps more of an obsession, a fear perhaps,
that I will sit down to watch a long film, and I'll have to pee the
whole time. I can't go during the picture, you see, I'm no heathen. So
I visit this room once upon arrival at the theater, and once during
the commercials before the trailer, and perhaps I will get a drink of
water, and by this I mean pee again, after the trailers but before the
movie. I can't help it. I am a nervous guy, cinematcally. But I just
wanted to let you know, I'm getting better. Oh, and 3/5.

RagStock

The "work" bathroom has always been a very important place for me.Just as smokers have always been able to lay claim to extra breaks in order to smoke, I have always made sure I give myself extra breaks throughout the workday to use the restroom, even if I don't have to go. This "resting" can often just mean sitting there, doing nothing but enjoying not talking to anyone and not being on your feet. At jobs in the past, I have pretty much turned restrooms into unofficial offices. Not so at RagStock. The bathroom is nice enough, I actually appreciate the character of the room quite a bit. Perhaps I enjoy the work more, and don't find the need to take refuge. Perhaps I feel self conscious that it's not hidden away in a corner somewhere, like employee bathrooms often are. I guess I will have to contemplate this next time I work. Maybe in the bathroom, which I will be rating a 3/5. More likely I'll be tagging shirts on the sales floor. I like it out
there.

Saloon

Saloon, this I am sure of. Looks a lot like Pints. Or at least I think
that was Pints. You see, I had been drinking. At that time I mean. I
suppose I had been drinking at Saloon, but not so much that I have a
hard time remembering where and when I peed that day and this time, I
had no trouble identifying my bathroom pictures. Sometimes it can be
hard. I wonder if the people at Pints know their bathroom is a bit
generic. It would be unfair to rate this bathroom much lower than
their's. It doesn't have that white bit to look at. This is either a
good thing or a bad thing. I'll give it a 3/5 while I decide.

Pints

This is Pints, I think. I'm not quite sure. I did have a few drinks,
you know. And I know I went at Pints. This must be the picture. It
must be, I think. I remember this bathroom, seeing that white bit on
the wall, wondering what it might be. I was a bit distracted, I did
have a few drinks you know. I do remember this being a comfortably
dark, clean, roomy, and pleasant bathroom. I didn't stay in this 3/5
bathroom very long, I was having a few drinks, you know.

The Hideaway

Can a leopard change its spots? I went to "The Hideaway", formerly the The Hawkeye Hideaway. What does it mean for the bathroom when a bar decides to class up a bit and drop its Big Ten theme? Not a whole lot. The prices get higher and the decor a little nicer, but the bathroom is still the bathroom of a dive sports bar. Not awful, but this 3/5 is not what I thought it would be.

Donnelly's

This toilet is askew. It cheats out a bit. Does that say something
about the bar? Is that my place to decide? I really just review the
bathroom. The experience, was quite average. Eveything was normal,
except for this toilet. The toilet was a bit crooked. 3/5

Walmart Supercenter

Can one smooth move raise an average bathroom to an excellent
bathroom? Whoever left the vase of live flowers on the sink for me
must have thought so. I appreciate, I do. It's a nice gesture. Without
the flowers, this would be an obvious 3/5. With the flowers, I'm just
not sure. I'm not sure about anything anymore. These flowers confused
me. Classy, but frightening, Walmart. I give you a 3/5 still, but I
will definitely look at you differently in the future.

Hamburg Inn No. 2

Watch your head! Go downstairs. Come on down, it's safe. Just watch
your head, ok? Low ceilings, the bathroom is right through there.
Feels really private down here though, right? Really away from
everything. Like you can do anything down here. Just be careful, low
clearence on this 3/5.

Oasis Falafel

I've been in many small bathrooms before, but this bathroom was so
small that I had to leave to actually take this picture. My experience
was a good one, but mostly because I was laughing at how comically
small this bathroom was. I've been in porta-johns that are roomy
compared to this. Everything else was perfectly average. If there were
such a thing as a small 3, I would rate it that. Miniturized 3/5.

The Grad Painting Building

Who is that sign for? Are the ladies peeing on the floor and the seat?
Is this a common problem in ladies' rooms? I had been lead to believe
this was an issue that men had. Perhaps the sign is for any men
considering urinating on the toilet of the opposition. I'm just not
sure. Wouldn't the whole point of each gender having their own toilet
make this sign unnecessary? This bathroom has what i call Le nature du mystere. Is that right? 3/5

Las Portales

My feet slide out from under me as I look at the fake brickwork on top
of the fake brickwork. That's two levels of fake brickwork. Why? And
why is the floor slippery? This bathroom has what I like to call la
natura de mysterio. Is that right? 3/5

Wildwood

Slow rides for the girls, fast for the dudes. The man controlling the
bull lets the girls gyrate on the mechanized animal for much longer
than their 8 seconds, but no one seems to mind. I wonder if he knows a
specific set of moves to make a girl's belly knotted plaid shirt pop
open. Yee haw, everyone would say! A ride on the beast cost more than
a beer or a burger and didn't last nearly as long on either count. The
bathroom, however was only slightly above the norm for an Iowa City
bar, but not by much. Wildwood won't be bucking off the average score
of 3/5 anytime soon.

Seamens Center

Responsibility. When a bathroom offers you a faucet with the handles
you turn, they are trusting you to turn the water off when you leave.
Are you deserving of that trust? Are you? An otherwise average (maybe
even below) bathroom, I give this bathroom a 3/5 for allowing me to
show the strength of my moral fiber.