The Hideaway

Can a leopard change its spots? I went to "The Hideaway", formerly the The Hawkeye Hideaway. What does it mean for the bathroom when a bar decides to class up a bit and drop its Big Ten theme? Not a whole lot. The prices get higher and the decor a little nicer, but the bathroom is still the bathroom of a dive sports bar. Not awful, but this 3/5 is not what I thought it would be.

Iowa River Power Company

Perhaps it was by chance or perhaps it was by providence that I found
myself in this stall Friday night at the Iowa River Power Company
restaurant. The scribbling on the wall, obviously the work of a
labored hand, told me to pray and it seemed likely that the last
occupant had been attempting to communicate with his deity as he
fought with what he had left in the bowl for me to find. I had just
finished my meal, so my appetite was not put off by this foul
revelation, but I wondered if this encounter might be prophetic. Was I
to be plagued as well this night? I still wait for answers, but I
think it's safe to say that the pilgrimmage to this 1/5 bathroom was
less than divine.

Seashore Hall

"Josh", I heard, as I passed through the walkway between Van Allen and majestic Seashore Hall, a place I know for hosting the art school offices and the location of many psych experiments I have subjected myself to over the years. Garrett called me over and tipped me to this old bathroom on the fourth floor, seemingly the only survivor of renovations over the years. This style of urinal offers little privacy, this is true, but the shape seems more sanitary. Less splash, less chance of missing. I'm almost compelled to sit down and go like a lady. It is as if a urinal and a toilet mated, and their love child awaits, ready to relieve me of a great burden. The rest of the bathroom was unremarkable, but I feel my life is enriched knowing this comforting friend waits for me, high up on a tower, above Iowa City, watching us all. 

El Bandito's

How do you say harrowing en español? Well, whatever it is, that is how I would describe this bathroom. I was told I would have to go through the construction, the desecrated corpse of Paul Revere, to find the bathroom, but when I stuck my head through the door to make my way, I saw no obvious path to the bathroom. I peeked around with a paranoid eye when a man who looked very close to what I would imagine a bandito to look like peered around the corner, saying nothing, and offering nothing but a suspicious eye. He disappeared as quickly as he arrived, and I investigated the hallway he had seemingly manifested. I walked slowly, for what felt like miles, wondering how many twists and turns it would take to find the men's room. The jewel at the end of the journey was this. Filthy, frightening, yet functional, the bathroom offered a work sink and a sink for washing hands, I presume. Buckets of "cleaning" supplies. I was almost too afraid to even use the room once I had found it. It was certainly an adventure, but not the good kind. It was more the 1/5 kind. 

Pagliai's Pizza

Pagliai's is less than a block from my house, and I always feel quite comfortable going there. So comfortable, in fact, that I left my iPhone at home to charge while I went to dinner there Sunday night. It was not long after I had arrived, however, that I realized I had to use the bathroom and that I had never used the bathroom there before, so a picture would be required. Without my camera, I had no way to make the image! Or so I thought, as my girlfriend offered me a scrap of paper on which to draw this image. I walked through the dim and comforting back part of the place, into the hallway with the restrooms, and into a spacious, clean, and pleasant men's room. This bathroom is a lot like I wish my bathroom at home was. Relaxed lighting, roomy yet cozy, this was the sort of place I could see myself spending a lot of time in. Just like Pagliai's. 5/5

Donnelly's

This toilet is askew. It cheats out a bit. Does that say something
about the bar? Is that my place to decide? I really just review the
bathroom. The experience, was quite average. Eveything was normal,
except for this toilet. The toilet was a bit crooked. 3/5

Which Wich

This is, if you can believe it, a women's bathroom. Can you tell? I
can't, not really. Stainless steel is stainless steel. They lost the
key to men's room, but it makes me question why they even have two
bathrooms in the first place. I don't get it. Anyways, this was a
fairly nice bathroom, perhaps even above average, and the look on my
girlfriend's face as she saw me coming out of the ladies room was
great, so this would have to rate as a 4/5 experience.